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Freda Zeh: Rejection Becomes a Teachable Moment, or "How I ended up writing my own rejection letter" (crafthaus TOPICS May 2009)
Originally posted in crafthaus BLOGS by Freda Zeh, a self-proclaimed "novice and pretty much self-taught artist, not a trained artist with a formal degree" on February 24, 2009:
Note: This post first appeared on my personal blog: "Freda Zeh. Free to Say." on January 27, 2009. Since then, I have received some helpful feedback from readers- especially those with more experience dealing with gallery owners than I have. No doubt this account shows I still have pretty thin skin, but I'm learning. Now I am fairly certain I would have handled the following situation differently, but here's what happened. Let me know what you think, but remember, I'm still toughening my hide.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You can't make up this stuff. I make art jewelry; and like most artists, I am constantly searching for an outlet for my work. Recently, I corresponded with a gallery owner from another state. I had scoped out this particular gallery while doing some due diligence on the local art market, and I thought maybe this shop would be a good fit for my work, of which you see some examples below. The following is a copy of our email correspondence. Identifying names have been deleted.
My name is Freda Zeh. I'm an artist/ jewelry designer living in Charlotte, North Carolina. I found your store and blog while doing some research on the _______art and design scene and was impressed with its blend of eclectic, funky creative accessories and well-curated art. Recently I have begun producing some jewelry that, in my opinion, defies categorization. It combines glass, copper, and mixed media with the polished Murano glass serving as a "canvas" on which each piece is interpreted. I have found a venue for my work in Charlotte at Lark and Key Gallery in the NODA Arts District, but would like to broaden my horizons even more. After checking out your website and blog, I think my work might be a good match for your store.
I have attached a link to my website here: 2Bz Art Jewlery The collection, Broken Dreams Recreated, is located on this page: Broken Dreams Recreated Collection.
There is a link to a short video on that page which may interest you, although you'll find the same video (with better music!) on my Facebook page under the Video tab here. Please note that not all of the pictured pieces are available now, but I am producing and posting more pieces as I finish them. As you'll see, no two are alike.
I've also attached a couple of pix to this email so you can take a closer look. I would be more than happy to set up an appointment to show you my work in person, if you'd like. I'm planning on coming to ++++++ in February or March, so if we could find a time within those weeks to meet, I'd love to introduce myself and my work to you! Retail price points for my pieces, depending on the complexity, range from $50 to $150, but I am willing to discuss alternative pricing strategies that would be mutually agreeable. If you'd like to call me, my phone # is ------------. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Here is the initial reply.
HI Freda! Your designs are so cute but not quite a match for our shop. Thanks for getting in touch though!
A straightforward rejection, but the offhand use of the word "cute" rankled me as though I had been goosed by a cretin. My response, I'm ashamed to say, was equally terse and pointed.
Thank you, ----------:
Perish the thought that my designs would be anywhere they would be described as "cute." My bad for contacting you.
Freda Zeh
"That's that." I thought. But wait! This message appeared in my inbox the following morning.
Sorry. I should have taken more time to say that your designs are compelling, stunning, exotic, complex and I've never seen anything that comes close in comparison.
So the gauntlet is thrown. My dilemma: respond to this sarcastic barb or leave it. In earlier days, perhaps I would have let it ride, thinking, "just suck it up." "But why should I accept being rudely dismissed?" I wondered. This shop owner was not signing my paycheck, after all, so why not just let her have it? My compromise position with myself was to take the somewhat higher road.
All that's required is that one be thoughtful. Using cheap words like "cute" cheapens the value of your customer relations. Never underestimate the time, talent or care someone puts into their work, whether you like it or not. It's a sure way to undermine your efforts.
And _________: please pardon my snarky response. I don't mind that you don't like my work, it's just that I don't care to be dismissed with thoughtlessness. Even "thanks for your [interesting, unique, original- insert neutral grown-up word including any of the sarcastic words you chose in your reply], but I don't think it's a good match for our store." A more thoughtful word in your original email, whether you meant it or not, would have been sufficient not to raise my ire. Take it from a former English teacher: words do matter.
I also understand art is subjective. The gallery that carries my work in Charlotte, incidentally, also represents some of your current artists. So the realm in which your contacts and my contacts travel is not so far apart. You might think of that next time you toss off a rejection. You don't like my work, fine, others do. I don't expect kudos here, just common courtesy.
Aside from feeling a little satisfied with my own righteous self-defense, I thought the matter was done. Then I receive this message:
I apologize that my response to your submission was cheap and discourteous and I appreciate your sincere input here. I would like to hear your suggestions when it comes to a better way to word my thoughts. It is really difficult for me to respond to all the submissions I get each day in addition to the pages of other business-related emails that come in daily. I am always fighting the clock and feel rushed. I try to pride myself in at least giving a personal response to each of them instead of just deleting, but now I can see how it can come across as patronizing when I use the word "cute".
It's very important to me to be sensitive to everyone. Since you are also sensitive in this way and since you're a former English teacher, I really would like to hear your suggestions for a better response.
This is how I sincerely feel; this is not just a scared reaction to the part of your email pointing out that our contacts travel in similar realms so I better think next time. Sorry, there goes MY snarky side again...at least you can relate - lol. :)
Whoa. This is no longer a parry; it's a real request. I am genuinely touched by this apology, which also presents another choice. What to do next?
No doubt this is one of the stranger email exchanges for either of us, but I truly appreciate your willingness to step up and apologize. Normally I wouldn't even have responded when my feathers were ruffled. But somehow the old schoolteacher in me just kicked in, and I couldn't help it. It takes a big person to own up, so you've got my admiration for your honesty. It also makes me feel somewhat better about my own ability to discern good stuff from not-so-good-stuff, since there seemed to be such a big disconnect between your store's impressive blog/website and your original reply.
You asked for advice from an old English teacher (although I still shake my head in disbelief, I am 48), so here goes. By the way, I was also a school principal, which job generally consisted of answering angry emails, phone calls, or solving communication disputes non-stop. So I can sympathize with your feeling of being rushed and pressed for time and words.
My suggestions:
1. Create a few "standard letter" templates. Keep them on your desktop. For submission inquiries, for example, you could have one template for "hold and review" emails, one for "yes" emails and one for "no" emails.
2. If you possibly can, set aside a block of time- 30 minutes or so- either at the beginning or end of the day- to respond to emails.
3. For submissions, once you've decided how to respond, simply copy, cut, and paste the text of your message from the template into the email. Then- voila! You're done. [Note: be sure you don't keep people's names in your templates]
4. One other idea: if you use a program like MS Outlook, you can organize emails into folders. It might be a good idea to drop all your submission/inquiry correspondences into folder called "submissions 2009" or something like that. At year's end you'll then be able to see how many artists inquired, how many you accepted, rejected, etc. That kind of info is always interesting. Sometimes it is also good for planning purposes, too.
I've attached 3 different templates to this email. All are in MS Word. Feel free to save, doctor, and reuse them as necessary.
I hope this helps.
And finally, I submit to her my template for a standard rejection letter.
Thank you for your submission to --------------Gallery, __________ independent showcase for emerging artists and DIY crafters. We receive dozens of submissions and inquiries from artists each week, and we commit to evaluate each and every submission we receive. Because art and artists are unique, we strive to accept work that best matches our tastes and our clientele’s preferences.
After considering your submission, we commend you for your original, unique work. However, we believe your work and the tastes of our customers may not be the right match. We appreciate your interest in __________ Gallery. If after six months you wish to re-submit your work for consideration, please feel free to send us another inquiry. Clients, tastes, and ideas change, and we are committed to continue our search for creations that can be found nowhere else.
Best wishes,
Owner's Name
We'll see what happens next. Otherwise, here is my punchline, "I wrote my own rejection letter and submitted it to them for their acceptance." How's that for living in interesting times??
Contact: Freda Zeh on crafthaus
Note: This post first appeared on my personal blog: "Freda Zeh. Free to Say." on January 27, 2009. Since then, I have received some helpful feedback from readers- especially those with more experience dealing with gallery owners than I have. No doubt this account shows I still have pretty thin skin, but I'm learning. Now I am fairly certain I would have handled the following situation differently, but here's what happened. Let me know what you think, but remember, I'm still toughening my hide.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You can't make up this stuff. I make art jewelry; and like most artists, I am constantly searching for an outlet for my work. Recently, I corresponded with a gallery owner from another state. I had scoped out this particular gallery while doing some due diligence on the local art market, and I thought maybe this shop would be a good fit for my work, of which you see some examples below. The following is a copy of our email correspondence. Identifying names have been deleted.
My name is Freda Zeh. I'm an artist/ jewelry designer living in Charlotte, North Carolina. I found your store and blog while doing some research on the _______art and design scene and was impressed with its blend of eclectic, funky creative accessories and well-curated art. Recently I have begun producing some jewelry that, in my opinion, defies categorization. It combines glass, copper, and mixed media with the polished Murano glass serving as a "canvas" on which each piece is interpreted. I have found a venue for my work in Charlotte at Lark and Key Gallery in the NODA Arts District, but would like to broaden my horizons even more. After checking out your website and blog, I think my work might be a good match for your store.
I have attached a link to my website here: 2Bz Art Jewlery The collection, Broken Dreams Recreated, is located on this page: Broken Dreams Recreated Collection.
There is a link to a short video on that page which may interest you, although you'll find the same video (with better music!) on my Facebook page under the Video tab here. Please note that not all of the pictured pieces are available now, but I am producing and posting more pieces as I finish them. As you'll see, no two are alike.
I've also attached a couple of pix to this email so you can take a closer look. I would be more than happy to set up an appointment to show you my work in person, if you'd like. I'm planning on coming to ++++++ in February or March, so if we could find a time within those weeks to meet, I'd love to introduce myself and my work to you! Retail price points for my pieces, depending on the complexity, range from $50 to $150, but I am willing to discuss alternative pricing strategies that would be mutually agreeable. If you'd like to call me, my phone # is ------------. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Here is the initial reply.
HI Freda! Your designs are so cute but not quite a match for our shop. Thanks for getting in touch though!
A straightforward rejection, but the offhand use of the word "cute" rankled me as though I had been goosed by a cretin. My response, I'm ashamed to say, was equally terse and pointed.
Thank you, ----------:
Perish the thought that my designs would be anywhere they would be described as "cute." My bad for contacting you.
Freda Zeh
"That's that." I thought. But wait! This message appeared in my inbox the following morning.
Sorry. I should have taken more time to say that your designs are compelling, stunning, exotic, complex and I've never seen anything that comes close in comparison.
So the gauntlet is thrown. My dilemma: respond to this sarcastic barb or leave it. In earlier days, perhaps I would have let it ride, thinking, "just suck it up." "But why should I accept being rudely dismissed?" I wondered. This shop owner was not signing my paycheck, after all, so why not just let her have it? My compromise position with myself was to take the somewhat higher road.
All that's required is that one be thoughtful. Using cheap words like "cute" cheapens the value of your customer relations. Never underestimate the time, talent or care someone puts into their work, whether you like it or not. It's a sure way to undermine your efforts.
And _________: please pardon my snarky response. I don't mind that you don't like my work, it's just that I don't care to be dismissed with thoughtlessness. Even "thanks for your [interesting, unique, original- insert neutral grown-up word including any of the sarcastic words you chose in your reply], but I don't think it's a good match for our store." A more thoughtful word in your original email, whether you meant it or not, would have been sufficient not to raise my ire. Take it from a former English teacher: words do matter.
I also understand art is subjective. The gallery that carries my work in Charlotte, incidentally, also represents some of your current artists. So the realm in which your contacts and my contacts travel is not so far apart. You might think of that next time you toss off a rejection. You don't like my work, fine, others do. I don't expect kudos here, just common courtesy.
Aside from feeling a little satisfied with my own righteous self-defense, I thought the matter was done. Then I receive this message:
I apologize that my response to your submission was cheap and discourteous and I appreciate your sincere input here. I would like to hear your suggestions when it comes to a better way to word my thoughts. It is really difficult for me to respond to all the submissions I get each day in addition to the pages of other business-related emails that come in daily. I am always fighting the clock and feel rushed. I try to pride myself in at least giving a personal response to each of them instead of just deleting, but now I can see how it can come across as patronizing when I use the word "cute".
It's very important to me to be sensitive to everyone. Since you are also sensitive in this way and since you're a former English teacher, I really would like to hear your suggestions for a better response.
This is how I sincerely feel; this is not just a scared reaction to the part of your email pointing out that our contacts travel in similar realms so I better think next time. Sorry, there goes MY snarky side again...at least you can relate - lol. :)
Whoa. This is no longer a parry; it's a real request. I am genuinely touched by this apology, which also presents another choice. What to do next?
No doubt this is one of the stranger email exchanges for either of us, but I truly appreciate your willingness to step up and apologize. Normally I wouldn't even have responded when my feathers were ruffled. But somehow the old schoolteacher in me just kicked in, and I couldn't help it. It takes a big person to own up, so you've got my admiration for your honesty. It also makes me feel somewhat better about my own ability to discern good stuff from not-so-good-stuff, since there seemed to be such a big disconnect between your store's impressive blog/website and your original reply.
You asked for advice from an old English teacher (although I still shake my head in disbelief, I am 48), so here goes. By the way, I was also a school principal, which job generally consisted of answering angry emails, phone calls, or solving communication disputes non-stop. So I can sympathize with your feeling of being rushed and pressed for time and words.
My suggestions:
1. Create a few "standard letter" templates. Keep them on your desktop. For submission inquiries, for example, you could have one template for "hold and review" emails, one for "yes" emails and one for "no" emails.
2. If you possibly can, set aside a block of time- 30 minutes or so- either at the beginning or end of the day- to respond to emails.
3. For submissions, once you've decided how to respond, simply copy, cut, and paste the text of your message from the template into the email. Then- voila! You're done. [Note: be sure you don't keep people's names in your templates]
4. One other idea: if you use a program like MS Outlook, you can organize emails into folders. It might be a good idea to drop all your submission/inquiry correspondences into folder called "submissions 2009" or something like that. At year's end you'll then be able to see how many artists inquired, how many you accepted, rejected, etc. That kind of info is always interesting. Sometimes it is also good for planning purposes, too.
I've attached 3 different templates to this email. All are in MS Word. Feel free to save, doctor, and reuse them as necessary.
I hope this helps.
And finally, I submit to her my template for a standard rejection letter.
Thank you for your submission to --------------Gallery, __________ independent showcase for emerging artists and DIY crafters. We receive dozens of submissions and inquiries from artists each week, and we commit to evaluate each and every submission we receive. Because art and artists are unique, we strive to accept work that best matches our tastes and our clientele’s preferences.
After considering your submission, we commend you for your original, unique work. However, we believe your work and the tastes of our customers may not be the right match. We appreciate your interest in __________ Gallery. If after six months you wish to re-submit your work for consideration, please feel free to send us another inquiry. Clients, tastes, and ideas change, and we are committed to continue our search for creations that can be found nowhere else.
Best wishes,
Owner's Name
We'll see what happens next. Otherwise, here is my punchline, "I wrote my own rejection letter and submitted it to them for their acceptance." How's that for living in interesting times??
Contact: Freda Zeh on crafthaus
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Linda Lankford on -
Well said!
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Permalink Reply by Vicky T. Hunt on
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That is such a funny exchange and I am totally with you! I would have just accepted the rejection had it not been for the use of that word 'cute'. It just riles. Good on you!!! - vicky
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Permalink Reply by Debbie Carlton on
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I'm just about to start submitting my work to galleries in the UK so all this is really useful, especially your initial introduction letter.
All a salutary lesson that there are real people with real feelings at the end of every impersonal email and it's good to be reminded of that
thanks
Debbie in London ( btw- any one else in London or the UK out there?)
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Permalink Reply by Catherine Marche on
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Dear Debbie,
How did your submissions go? I believe the Harley Gallery may be accepting submissions for mixed shows at Christmas...
Best of luck
Catherine
PS, I took a few extra cataloques from treasure for WOW today :)
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Permalink Reply by Angela Baduel-Crispin on
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What particularly strikes me is the sincere time you both accepted to give to one another. Everyone seems to be in such a rush today, forgetting even the basics of courtesy and respect. If you don't answer an email within 24hr people think you've moved back to the States (believe me, it's happened to me!). As if life were a race. I love human contact and all of internet communication can only exist if people give time to express themselves and connect. The fact you gave it enough importance to give an answer has probably totally changed how this gallery connects with people. I love that !
That said, it's always a bummer to get a rejection letter, even if a polite one, be it from a gallery or from an editor, without further details to be able to improve.
Perfect punchline !
o:-)
Angela
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Permalink Reply by Freda Zeh on
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Thanks, Angela!
Your point is well-taken and one I had not thought of before. Yes, both of us did ultimately give each other time enough to resolve the initial miscommunication. You're right, in my opinion, that people are often in too much of a hurry to respond quickly rather than thoughtfully. I hope the gallery owner has taken that message to heart.
Now that you've piqued my curiosity, perhaps I'll contact her again off-line (via email rather than a social network) and give her a heads-up on this thread. It might be interesting to get perspective from a gallery owner's point of view.
Thank you- and everyone- for your thoughtful responses to this post.
Freda
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Permalink Reply by Maureen Brusa Zappellini on
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this post warms the cockles of my heart- genuine and interesting- thank you for sharing!
=MBZ
ps, for years I have been saving my rejection letters in a file but about a month ago I decided to plug in the shredder and give it a workout.( It went well with some Fava beans and a nice chianti...:-)
They were simply not adding to my experiences as an artist and I was happy to relieve the psychological burden.
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Permalink Reply by Gera Scott Chandler on
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This really struck a chord with me! I recently had a similar letter atho' "cute" wasn't used- in this case my work wasn't "going in the direction the gallery was choosing to take"! I have been incensed for months- the gallery is very close to my home so I have steam coming out of my ears every time I walk by and I soothe myself by imagining a Basil Fawlty type persona shouting "You bast***s!" when I have to go to the drycleaners next door.
Hopefully your thoughtful and sensible experience will help me finally file the incident away- but I will never ever forget the time I was rejected for a show but subsequently asked to donatre a piece with a minimum value of $100 for the accompanying Silent Auction!
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